whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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