So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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