How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
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I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
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Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize