Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
