You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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