Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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