foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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