My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize