But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
