Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
