the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
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