we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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