So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
