I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
