If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize