We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
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