Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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