just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
