And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize