The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
