on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
