brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
are you so shy because you have an std?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
did i just pee glitter
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize