Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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