I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
