you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I love you.
Bad choice
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
