I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
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