no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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