Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
