He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
