in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
