Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
