your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
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I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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