I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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