so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
