She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
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I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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