Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
