you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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