I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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