why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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