Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
