New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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