whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
The Olympian is in my bed
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
