Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
