I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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