sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
