There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
