I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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