Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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