I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My vagina is very pro this idea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
