I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
