Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
