I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
