What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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