it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
