She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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