Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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