I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
