Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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