He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
