these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Your cock deserves a montage
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
