Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
