you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
