im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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